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My hands were clammy against the microphone. Usually I wasn’t at all nervous when I performed, not like this. 

“You ready?” Harry gulped, hitting my shoulder gently.
“I- I think so.”
“It’s alright Liam. Just two songs and we’ll go home.”
I nodded and walked to my position on the stage.
We sang, but our hearts weren’t in it. I glanced and Zayn as he sang his solo but he wasn’t there mentally. None of us were.
Our songs ended and I walked off the stage with the boys beside me. I grabbed my water bottle and took a huge sip from it, barely able to keep it down.
“We did pretty shit didn’t we?”
Niall sat down on the amp beside me.
“Yeah, it’s not the same Nialler.”
“No. No it isn’t.”
He smacked my back gently and walked away, ducking into a room to his left.
“We better head off.” Louis called getting his stuff together, “We have an early start tomorrow.”
I nodded and complied, standing up and walking out to the cars that would take us home.

The ride was silent and we all knew why. We all felt incomplete and I looked at the other boys, sighing.
The car pulled up in front of our apartments and I swung my bag over my shoulder and walked inside, collapsing onto my couch and rubbing my eyes tiredly.
“You alright Liam? Something’s wrong.”
I glanced up to see Zayn’s worried expression.
“It’s… nothing.”
Zayn simply shook his head and exited my lounge room, returning to his part of the complex.
I checked my phone to see many missed messages, all from Danielle.
Liam, how’d it go? Did you guys do okay?
I typed back a positive response and fell back onto the comfortable pillows, closing my eyes and falling asleep in a matter of seconds.

Wearily, I awoke to a silence. Absolutely no noise to keep me sane.
“Liam!?” Harry called, “We gotta go soon!”
I poked my head around my front door.
“Harry? Can… can I talk to you?”
He fixed his tie and nodded, “What’s wrong Liam?”
I lead him over to my couch and gestured for him to sit down.
“I saw him Harry.”
Harry shook his head as his breath hitched in his throat.
“You can’t have se-“
“I  DID!” I sighed, “Right after last night’s concert.”
“He’s gone Liam! We’re going to his funeral!” Harry was crying, he didn’t even realise but tears poured from his eyes.
“I don’t want to say goodbye! He’s my fucking best friend!” My voice cracked and I drew in a sharp breath, “Niall… my Niall is gone.”
“I know.” Harry uttered, “My Niall is gone too.”
He stood up, wiping his eyes, “You better go get ready.”
I nodded and dragged myself upstairs.

Our arms all fell over each other’s shoulders, looking at the grave in front of us.
“To Niall.” Louis started, “Our brother.”
“Our friend.” I continued.
“Our band mate.” Zayn whispered.
“We miss you.” Harry croaked.
And with that, their arms let go of me and I stood alone to stare at his grave.
But then a pair of arms wrapped around me again, jolting me forwards a small distance.
“Don’t leave me Liam!” The Irish accent that was all too familiar, “I don’t want to be here alone!”
I shook my head and loosened his arms from around me and I turned to see his tear stained face.
“Please…” He whispered, “Don’t leave me.”
“Goodbye Niall.” I walked past him and took a few heavy steps forwards. When I turned back he was gone, “We’ll miss you baby Nandos.”

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Harry Audio Read - Press play and read along.

He walked out of the airport terminal wearing his classic baggy sweat pants and white t-shirt, both which looked like they had been worn for too long. His matted brown curls, swept to the side and irresistible dimples evident when our eyes met. I waited eagerly, all for the wrong reasons. Hoping, wishing that he would take me in his arms as something more, that he would greet me with a passionate kiss. ‘Babe!’ He approached me, wrapping his strong arms around me. ‘Harry I missed you’ I said, nuzzling my head into his chest, the scent of his cologne filling my nose. 

7 years. That’s how long it has been since I fell in love with him. That rainy Tuesday morning where I first laid eyes on Harry Styles. I asked him if he wanted a coffee and something to eat, only to be rejected. He rambled on about how his tastebuds didn’t heighten when it came to coffee, and how he had just shared an unusually large breakfast with his best mate Louis. At first I thought it was a bad attempt at flirting, but as I grew to know and love him I realised that strange conversations like this would occur often. One of the many things I love about him.

‘You didn’t have to come all the way to the airport you know’ He said as the driver took his luggage and loaded it into the boot. ‘I wanted to’ I replied softly, opening the door to the car and sitting down. Curling my feet up on the seat, I leaned on Harry’s shoulder. The comfort of my best friends arm surrounding me and the warmth of his breath hitting my skin, enough to make me nod off. 

I remember the years he would comfort me, as I would cry into his arms about my current boy issue. He’d whisper warm words in my ear and tell me how no man was good enough for me. He never knew that all along that boy that had my emotions running wild, was him. I didn’t even try to intervene when our relationship began to be pushed into the friend zone. I should have told him how I felt from the very beginning. Those days when he would approach me and ask for advice, or if he looked okay. As selfish as it sounds I regret encouraging him to date. I wish instead of replying with a simple ‘you look nice’ I had told him how incredibly gorgeous he was and how there isn’t a day where he could look bad. It’s my fault. I never worked up the courage to tell him.

Our bodies began to collide, the jolt of the crash so severe Harry’s head hit the seat. My body becoming numb as I try to fight back the plummeting feeling. The feeling that I’m falling, falling so fast that I’ll never be able to get up. I can feel the weight of the seat crushing my body, my vision so blurry that I can’t see what’s ahead. It’s silent, only the sounds of my heavy breathing filling my ears. I can taste the blood as I reach up to feel my head. Unable to move, I know Harry will save me.

I feel the two strong arms lifting me up, those very arms that have cradled me for days when I was sad. ‘You’re always saving me’ I whisper as my vision begins to return, only to be met by two big beaming eyes. Only they don’t belong to him. They aren’t those sea green orbs that I had hoped for. And that’s when I realise. ‘No… no, no, NO, NO!’ I screamed, the tears trailing down my cheeks, nothing holding them back. My feet find the ground, my eyes meeting the burning flames of our car. ‘Harry!’ I yell, searching for those brown curls only to find his fragile body being carried away by paramedics. Running towards him, Louis grabs me from behind and pulls me back. ‘He’s gone’ He murmured, trying to hold onto me. ‘No!’ I yelled, trying to fight back, but I couldn’t. I gave in, knees bucking, I felt myself fall to the ground. Crying in Louis’ arms he tried to wipe my tear stained face. ‘I didn’t even get to tell him’ I whimpered, trying to steady my voice as much as possible. ‘He knew’ Louis whispered to me, kissing my forehead. ‘He felt it too’ 

Song: Never Say Never - The Fray

written by sabrina

Ngl i just cried my fat ass off